Burnout

Approaching arguments positively.

1024 683 Get Started with Pareful Today | Meditations & Therapies Built for Parents

No one wants to argue with their partner. Arguments can be draining, emotionally charged, and leave you feeling like you’re on uneven ground. But arguing is a necessary part of any relationship. It’s an opportunity to communicate and understand each other better. So how can you approach arguments with your partner in a way that is positive and productive? Read on for some tips.

  • Avoid reacting in the moment. When we’re in the middle of an argument, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean or that we’ll later regret. If you need a moment to calm down before continuing the discussion, take a break. Go for a walk, take a shower, or sleep on it. You’ll be able to approach the situation with a clear head when you’re ready.
  • Listen to what your partner is saying. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own thoughts during an argument and forget to truly listen to what the other person is saying. But it’s important to try to understand where they’re coming from. So as they’re speaking, really listen and try to see things from their perspective. Only then can you start to find common ground.
  • Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s motives. It’s easy to jump to conclusions about why someone is saying or doing something, but more often than not, those assumptions are wrong. Instead of assuming the worst, ask your partner directly what their intentions are. Chances are they’ll be happy to explain themselves and you’ll be able avoid miscommunication or hurt feelings.
  • Find a compromise that works for both of you. Chances are, there isn’t a single solution that will please both parties perfectly. In that case, it’s important to find a compromise that leaves both people feeling satisfied. This might mean making some sacrifices, but it will be worth it in the end if it means having a healthy, happy relationship.
  • Avoid blaming your partner. It ‘s easy to want to place all the blame on someone else when things go wrong, but doing so will only make the situation worse. Not only will it make your partner feel defensive, but it will also prevent you from taking responsibility for your own actions. Take ownership of your own role in the argument so that you can begin working towards a resolution.
  • Be willing to apologise. A key part of any successful relationship is being able t o admit when you’re wrong. If you’ve done something to hurt your partner, make sure to apologise. This doesn’t mean that you have to take all the blame, but it does mean acknowledging your role in the situation and expressing remorse for any pain you may have caused.
  • Keep communication open outside of arguments as well. Just as communicating during an argument is important, so is communicating when things are going well. By regularly checking in with each other and sharing both positive and negative experiences, you”ll create a foundation of trust and respect that will help carry you through difficult times.

Arguing with your partner is never fun, but it’s an inevitable part of every relationship. By approaching arguments positively, listening carefully, and finding compromise, you can turn them into opportunities for growth instead of potential roadblocks. And by maintaining open communication both during and between arguments, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy, happy relationship.

Monthly wisdom you can digest
in under 5 minutes, for free.

The importance of avoiding parental burnout.

1024 684 Get Started with Pareful Today | Meditations & Therapies Built for Parents

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding, yet challenging roles an individual can have. Not only are you responsible for taking care of your own needs, but you are also responsible for taking care of the needs of your children. This can be extremely draining, both emotionally and physically. When you reach your limit, it is important to take a step back and focus on taking care of yourself, otherwise you run the risk of burning out.

Signs that you’re burning out

There are several different signs that you may be burning out as a parent. These include:

– Feeling constantly exhausted and run down
– Having difficulty staying focused or motivated
– Withdrawing from friends and activities that you once enjoyed
– Feeling irritable or angry more often than usual
– Experiencing physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches

If you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms on a regular basis, it is important to take a step back and assess your current situation. Are there any areas in your life that you can delegate to someone else in order to lighten your load? What can you do to make sure that you are taking care of yourself both physically and mentally? Taking some time for yourself – even if it is just 30 minutes each day – can make a world of difference when it comes to preventing burnout.

No one ever said that being a parent was easy. In fact, it is probably one of the most challenging roles an individual can have. It is important to remember, however, that it is okay to take a break every now and then. If you find yourself feeling burnt out, take some time for yourself in order to prevent further damage. Your children will still be there when you come back refreshed and rejuvenated.

Monthly wisdom you can digest
in under 5 minutes, for free.

Try these self-care tips for new parents.

768 1024 Get Started with Pareful Today | Meditations & Therapies Built for Parents

You’ve probably heard this advice: Take care of yourself if you want to be the best parent for your child. While that advice might sound good in theory, you might wonder how on earth you could care for yourself when your baby is your number one priority right now. Is that even possible? You probably forgot the last time you showered, let alone practiced self-care. Do you even have the time to do it?

Quite often, we can lose the sense of who we are as we go through the experience of pregnancy and the birth of a newborn baby. You might have mixed feelings about no longer being pregnant, your birth experience, your baby and your new role as a parent. For moms, you might also feel differently about how you look and your body’s changes. It can be an immensely overwhelming experience.

Especially for first-time parents, coming home with your new baby is an adjustment. In this case, you may find that you’re anxious about your ability to care for your baby. You may also be concerned about obtaining less income if one of you stays home with your baby, or you’re worried about spending less time on other activities and relationships. These are all valid and normal concerns of a new parent. Taking care of your baby on top of the changes in your emotions and sleep patterns could take a toll on your mental and physical health.

Practising self-care as new parents begin with the belief that self-care is essential and something that you deserve. We’ve been taught that putting our child’s needs in front of our own needs is actually preferred; in fact, it’s what makes us a good parent, some might say. But, taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being isn’t just something nice to add to your neverending to-do lists. It’s actually critical for your overall health.

If all you do is to give, give, and give, you’re likely to experience burnout which can adversely affect your health. If you think burnout is exclusively limited to work-related issues, you’ve got it wrong. It’s proven by research that neglecting your own needs has negative consequences for you and your baby. Without adequate breaks and time to breathe, parents can experience parental burnout.

Parental burnout leads to harmful consequences for children. Among the most shocking effect of parental burnout includes being emotionally distant from your baby, indulging in escape ideation, engaging in some form of parental neglect and experiencing severe emotional exhaustion.

According to a study published in Clinical Psychological Science, the researchers concur that “whatever allows parents to recharge their batteries, avoid exhaustion, is good for children.” So, are you convinced yet that adding some form of self-care into your life should be non-negotiable? Keeping yourself happy and healthy will allow you to give the best care possible for your baby. Remember, your needs matter too.

Self-care is important; you get it. But, what should you do to accomplish it?

The first thing that you have to do is to be kind to yourself. Caring for a new baby is a lot of work, and no new parent has all of the answers– and that’s okay. Remember, you can learn as you go. Take your time to enjoy and get to know your baby. Your smile, voice, facial expressions and gentle touch will help you build the connection needed to develop a healthy attachment with your little one. You fed, cuddled and clothed your baby today, and the house didn’t burn down? You’re doing great.

Good nutrition keeps your energy level up and boosts your overall mood. Your nutrition is vital, especially if you’re breastfeeding and your body needs the extra fuel. So, go easy on the sugar and ensure that you get plenty of iron, protein and omega-3s. You should also try to limit your caffeine intake to the first part of the day. One way to maintain a healthy eating habit is to stock up on healthy snacks and fill your freezer with your favourite good-for-you meals. Eating healthy doesn’t mean bland food. There are tons of healthy recipes that you can find on the internet. Alternatively, you could also take full advantage of the delivery options out there.

Exercise. Yes, although you’ve just become a new parent, getting regular exercise is a form of self-care. As you may know, exercising keeps you healthy, improve your mood, helps you get better sleep and with the added bonus of helping to manage your weight – everything a new parent needs. You have multiple options when it comes to exercising. Firstly, you could find a way to exercise with your baby, like a mommy-and-me yoga class or baby boot camp. Secondly, you could ask your partner to take care of the baby while you exercise. Another option is to check if your local gym offers child care.

Again, there is a common notion among new parents that spending time for yourself when you have a child is an act of selfishness. This is completely untrue. Sadly, some people will continue to spread the message that doing things for yourself is considered self-centred or greedy. But, you’ve got to ignore these people and seek out supportive people who understand the struggles of new parenthood. Even if it’s just for a short time; do something that you enjoy, such as soaking in a hot tub or reading your favourite novel. You’ll feel refreshed and ready to take on your next challenge.

Let others help you. Now isn’t the time for independence. Your partner, family and friends are there for you and care about you. If they want to be helpful, it’s okay to accept their help. It’s also completely okay to ask others for help if you feel overwhelmed. Also, it’s important to be specific about what you need. Do you need them to do the grocery? Hand them your grocery list. If you need them to fold the laundry, tell them. And remember, they might not do things exactly like you would but don’t let the little things stress you out.

Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean devoting hours to yourself everyday or taking an extended vacation. That sort of thing is out of reach for the majority of typical parents, especially with a newborn baby in the picture. But, that doesn’t mean you should disregard your self-care altogether. Even just spending 10 to 15 minutes per day can be life-changing. The key is to do something you find enjoyable and do it consistently.

Your mood changes, anxiousness and worries will not last forever. Over time, you’ll feel more confident in your abilities to take care of your baby and family. Until you do, don’t forget to incorporate self-care into your day-to-day life as a new parent. You’ll eventually feel more like yourself again. Heck, you might be surprised at what you can accomplish if you start to care for your mental and physical health.


Monthly wisdom you can digest
in under 5 minutes, for free.

Surviving sleep deprivation.

1024 683 Get Started with Pareful Today | Meditations & Therapies Built for Parents

Diet
Many of the symptoms of sleep deprivation manifest themselves in impaired cognitive function. In her book Brain Food, Dr Lisa Mosconi explores the neuroscience behind the foods that improve mental fitness. Meaning, there is such a thing as brain food, what Mosconi terms ‘neuro nutrition’.

What most people don’t realise that the nutritional requirements of the brain are substantially different from those of the other organs of the body.”

Dr Lisa MosconiThe sugar-laden, carbohydrate heavy foods we crave when we’re tired (and that deliver instant gratification with the first bite) aren’t really doing you any favours in the long term when it comes to combating fatigue. Try to avoid and plump for healthier alternatives instead.

Water is crucial, two litres a day and tap water is absolutely fine, as is bottled mineral water. Purified water ain’t so great as it’s been filtered of all its precious minerals and nutrients. Water-rich fruit and veg is also good; such as cucumbers, courgettes, strawberries, grapefruit and watermelons.

A balance of Omega 3s and 6s is essential to get your neurons communicating properly and can be found not just in fish oils but plant oils (i.e., grapeseed oil). Mosconi also recommends certain nuts and seeds (chia, flaxseed); food high in choline (B vitamins), glucose (spring onions, turnips, apricots, grapes) and phenylalanine (spinach, high-protein animal products).  Her book contains some brilliant brain-boosting recipes and we’re a particular fan of her cacao smoothie, which tastes like pudding in a glass – and is still good for you! Wins! Proof that you don’t have to forgo sweet treats.

Exercise
We know. It’s hard to exercise when you’ve a baby – or two – in tow. But it’s crucial. Exercise literally changes your state of mind, be it a stroll with the pram, an at home HIIT workout or a 10-minute yoga flow with the baby on the mat beside you. There are exercise classes up and down the country that cater to new parents where you can actually leave the house and exercise in a group setting with your babies and toddlers. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with, but the point here is really to do it. Shoehorn it into your day. Perhaps this might mean asking a partner or a friend to take over whilst you exercise, and that’s ok.

Yes, when you’re exhausted the last thing you feel like doing is exhausting yourself even more, but it really works. It’s a great stress reliever and ushers in a feeling of real positivity and achievement. So do try to set aside a little time every day to exercise. You won’t regret it.

Sloooww down & step off
Sometimes having a baby can feel like operating in the normal world with your hands tied behind your back. Things take longer, you can’t just­–

All the stuff you used to be able to do at your peak productivity, well, try not to lament it. That was then, this is now. A different gravy. The laundry will wait. And the world will still turn.

Do less.

Don’t expect so much of yourself.

Give yourself a break.

You’re raising a child, not trying to be a superhero.

Screen time
Your circadian rhythms are already shot with the arrival of a new baby, and screen time at night will only exacerbate the situation. If you need something to while away the witching hours then try swapping your scrolling for audio books – or the shipping forecast, and you’ll probably find it much easier to fall back asleep if/when your baby does.

Have a giggle
Don’t be afraid to be silly. Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. Embrace the ridiculous situations that often present themselves to you as a new parent; projectile poo/wee whilst changing a nappy; thinking you could get a quick quiet coffee only for your baby to howl down the café, the list is long…Try to laugh about them. Or, if you find that difficult, get your laughs in watching a TV programme you love or a clip of your favourite comedian on social media. Whatever it is, laughter can break through the tension. It always feels good to giggle. Find comfort in the little things. 

Cuddle your partner as well as your baby
Having an addition to the family can be isolating for a partner, especially if you’re night feeding in another bedroom. Physical contact is so important. Get close, enjoy a hug. If you’re a single parent, don’t underestimate the strength of an embrace from a friend. Sometimes, it really is the little things that make all the difference.

Sleep, whenever, wherever.
As discussed in our first blog post, there are no-points for martyrdom in the sleep stakes. Get it whilst you can. Forget household chores and put your head down, even if it’s just for 10 minutes for a quick refresh. Clinical studies have shown that a nap of less than half an hour in the day promotes wakefulness, enhances performance and learning ability.

Writer and memoirist Amy Liptrot regularly extolls the restorative effect of a stolen ‘wild sleep’ with her young children. Or, join the army of parents who sleep in cinema matinee performances. Whatever it takes, you’ll be much more capable of completing your to-do lists if you’ve had more sleep. Forget the pressures of being productive and remind yourself how much you’re taking care of yourself getting in all the sleep you can.


Monthly wisdom you can digest
in under 5 minutes, for free.

  • 1
  • 2