Parenting can be overwhelming, and many parents experience anxiety, depression, or self-doubt. These emotions don’t just affect you—they impact your relationships with your children and partner too.
Cognitive Restructuring (CR) is a powerful tool that helps you challenge and change unhelpful thought patterns. Whether your thoughts are inaccurate or based in reality, CR helps you process them constructively—either by reframing your perspective or creating an action plan.
The 5 Steps of Cognitive Restructuring
1. Identify the Situation
Start by writing down the upsetting event or thought. For example, "I’m not spending enough time with my children."
2. Recognise Your Emotions
Note how the situation makes you feel—anxious, guilty, angry, ashamed. Focus on the strongest emotion first.
3. Uncover the Thought Behind the Feeling
Ask yourself: What belief or fear is driving this emotion? For anxiety: What am I afraid will happen? For guilt: What did I do that I regret?
4. Evaluate the Thought
Now step back and assess:
- What’s the evidence for and against this thought?
- Am I catastrophising?
- Would I hold someone else to the same standard?
- Is this feeling based on facts or assumptions?
5. Reach a Verdict
Decide whether the thought is accurate or distorted. If it’s inaccurate, replace it with a more balanced thought. If it’s true, take positive action—like apologising or seeking support.
Not all negative thoughts are wrong—but left unchecked, they can become harmful. CR doesn’t erase tough emotions—it helps you manage them. It empowers you to respond with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
Better thoughts lead to better outcomes—for you and your family.
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