Many parents struggle to take care of themselves. With the arrival of a baby parents tend to focus their affection and caring predominantly on the child. This is completely natural as the child’s wellbeing and survival depends completely and entirely on the parents. But being a parent is also exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. Many parents albeit at different levels suffer from parental stress and anxiety. In the extreme that can lead to parental burnout.
To counter and better cope with parental stress, parents need to practice self-care. Oftentimes parents feel guilty for indulging in self-care and may see putting their children and family first as a noble, selfless act. But this is a misperception of self-care. If you as a parent completely exhaust yourself to the verge of burnout, how good can this be for your parenting, children and family? If you are stressed and anxious you are much more likely to get irritated and angry at your kids. You can quickly lose control over your emotions and start shouting at your children and having arguments with them. This leads to disharmony in your family life and conflict with your children and partner.
Self-care is part of a range of actions parents should take to better manage and regulate their emotions to improve their parenting. Self-care is not selfish or an indulgence. It helps you to become the parent you want to be or the best parent you can be. As the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you as a parent neglect your own wellbeing you will find it much more difficult to give the care and affection to your children that you would like to give.
Self-care comes in many shapes and sizes. There is not a one size-fits-all. The point about self-care is that you do something for the wellbeing of your mind and body that you also enjoy. This can be preparing and eating healthy foods, physical activities like yoga, gym or walking and grounding in nature, pursuing a hobby, spending time with loved ones, as well as mindfulness mediation and practice. Science shows the tremendous value these activities have on protecting and strengthening your mental health.
To start you need to give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Many parents are uncomfortable with the idea of taking time for themselves. We are used to taking care of our children, but it can be a big shift to actually focus on us. Sometimes there is a bit of a hidden martyr complex or sense of unworthiness behind this. When we recognise that we are worth the investment in our own wellbeing we are more likely to maximise the benefits of self-care. You must give yourself permission to take care of yourself and make the time for it every day. If you have little time this can be a short mindfulness meditation in the morning. When you can carve out more time it can be a walk in nature, an exercise session or an afternoon or evening with friends.
Self-care is not selfish and it is not an indulgence or luxury. It is about protecting your mental health and fostering your mental sustainability. Prevention is less costly and painful than repair. Set yourself up for a daily mindfulness meditation and pick every week one additional activity that you think will have a high self-care impact for you. Set a reminder on your phone and put it in your schedule like an important appointment. Keep track of your progress and develop a self-care plan to protect and bolster your well-being.
Related articles
Explore our wide range of expert-led articles, guides and tips on parental mental wellbeing.
