How to stop catastrophising

Parenting is full of joy — but it’s also full of worry. In fact, research shows that parents consistently report higher stress levels than non-parents. And with this heightened stress, it’s easy to fall into a thinking trap known as catastrophising — imagining the worst-case scenario, even when it's unlikely to happen.

If you’ve ever spiralled into anxious thoughts like “What if my child is being bullied?” or “What if something terrible happens and I’m not there?”, you’re not alone. These kinds of thoughts are common, but when left unchecked, they can damage your mental wellbeing and affect your child’s emotional development.

The good news? There’s a proven way to manage this. It’s called Decatastrophising, a simple and powerful Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) exercise that can help you shift your mindset and regain perspective.

What Is Catastrophising?

Catastrophising is a type of cognitive distortion where you blow a situation out of proportion and assume the worst possible outcome. For example:
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• “If I leave my child at the playdate, they’ll get hurt.”
• “If they fall behind in school, they’ll never catch up.”
• “If I’m not with them every second, something bad will happen.”

While it’s natural for parents to worry, excessive catastrophising can:
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• Increase anxiety and stress
• Lead to overprotective behaviours
• Undermine your child’s confidence and independence
• Strain your relationship with your child

In short, parental catastrophising can affect both your mental health and your child’s development.
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How to Decatastrophise: A Step-by-Step CBT Exercise

Decatastrophising helps you challenge irrational thoughts by breaking them down and assessing their likelihood. Here's how to do it:

1. Identify the worry

Start by writing down the specific thought that’s troubling you.
Example: “I’m worried my child will be left out or bullied at a playdate.”

2. Imagine the worst-case scenario

Write out what you fear might happen.
Example: “My child gets ignored, shouted at, or even hurt by other kids.”

3. Think about the most likely outcome

Now write down what’s more realistically going to happen.
Example: “They might be shy at first, but they’ll probably have fun and want to go back.”

4. Evaluate the probabilities

Ask yourself: How likely is the worst-case scenario, really? Have you seen any signs that support it? What evidence do you have for the more likely scenario?

5. Decide what action (if any) is needed

If the worst-case scenario is genuinely likely, you can act on it. But in most cases, you’ll realise it’s not. The process itself will calm your mind and give you a more balanced outlook.

Why This Technique Works for Parents

When you're in the middle of an anxious spiral, your brain focuses on danger and shuts out logic. CBT exercises like Decatastrophising bring your thinking back into balance. Over time, this practice helps you:
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• Reduce anxiety and stress
• Feel more confident in your parenting decisions
• Model emotional resilience for your children
• Avoid passing on anxious patterns of thinking

Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Worst-Case Thinking Steer the Ship

Next time you find yourself imagining the worst, pause and go through this simple CBT process. By learning to decatastrophise your thoughts, you can protect your own wellbeing — and give your child the calmer, more grounded parent they need.
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Remember, not every thought is a fact. And not every fear deserves your attention.

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