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James Levy-Vassie

5 tips to reconnect with your partner post-baby

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After you have kids, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing yourself in the never-ending cycle of tending to their needs. You may feel like you’re just going through the motions and that you’re not really living. If this sounds familiar, then it’s time to take a step back and reconnect with your partner. Here are five ways to do just that.

1. Make time for each other.
This may seem obvious, but it’s important to make time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. You can do this by wake up earlier than your kids or go to bed after they’re asleep. If you can’t find time during the day, then schedule a weekend getaway or a date night once every couple of weeks. The key is to make quality time for each other so that you can really connect.

2. Communicate openly and honestly.
Be honest about how you’re feeling and what you need from your partner. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tell them. If you need more help around the house, ask for it. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs openly and honestly. It will only make your relationship stronger.

3. Be intimate with each other.
Intimacy doesn’t just mean sex, although that’s important too. It means being close to each other in all ways – emotionally, mentally, and physically. Spend time cuddling, talking, and just being close to each other. This will help you feel connected on a deeper level.

4. Do things together as a family.
It’s important to spend quality time together as a family, but it’s also important to do things together as a couple too. Whether it’s going for a walk, taking a yoga class, or cooking dinner together, find something that you both enjoy and make it a regular part of your life. Doing things together will help you feel connected as a couple while also giving you some much-needed individual time too.

5. Seek help when you need it.
If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner and like nothing is working, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through any underlying issues. It’s important to get help when you need it so that you can address any problems head-on and start moving forward in your relationship.

Parenting is hard work but it’s so worth it when you have strong relationships with your partner and your children.. By making time for each other, communicating openly and honestly, being intimate with each other, doing things together as a family, and seeking help when needed, you can create lasting bonds that will weather any storm..

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5 ways to improve your sleep hygiene as a parent

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Being a parent is one of the most rewarding, but also exhausting, experiences you will ever have. You are constantly on the go, taking care of your little ones and making sure they are happy and healthy. It’s no wonder that so many parents struggle to get a good night’s sleep! If you’re finding it hard to catch some Zs, here are five ways to improve your sleep hygiene.

1. Establish a regular sleep schedule.
One of the best ways to improve your sleep hygiene is to establish a regular sleep schedule. When your body is used to going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, it will be easier for you to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. So, do your best to stick to a consistent bedtime and wake-up time, even on weekends.

2. Create a calm and relaxing bedtime routine.
Another way to help improve your sleep hygiene is by creating a calm and relaxing bedtime routine. This could involve taking a warm bath, reading a book, or stretching before getting into bed. By doing something calming before trying to sleep, you’ll be more likely to fall asleep quickly.

3. Make sure your bedroom is dark and quiet
Your bedroom should be a haven for rest and relaxation. To help make it more conducive for sleep, make sure it is dark and quiet. Consider investing in blackout curtains or an eye mask to block out any unwanted light, and use earplugs or white noise if you live in a noisy area.

4. Avoid caffeine late in the day
If you want to have a solid sleep through the night without any interruptions, avoid caffeine late in the day. Caffeine can stay in your system for up to eight hours, so if you drink it too close to bedtime, you may find it harder to drift off—and harder to stay asleep once you finally do fall asleep.

5. Put away all electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime
It’s important to disconnect from electronics before trying to sleep because the blue light emitted from screens can interfere with your natural circadian rhythm and make it harder for your head to hit the pillow feeling sleepy. So, put away all electronics—including your phone, laptop, TV, etc at least 30 minutes before bedtime so you can unwind and relax in peace before trying to drift off for the night.

If you’re finding it difficult to get enough rest as a parent, know that you’re not alone! Many parents struggle with insomnia or poor sleep quality due largely in part due to chaotic schedules and stress levels that come with being responsible for tiny humans 24/7/365. However, there are things you can do proactively to improve your sleep hygiene starting with establishing (and sticking) to regular sleep schedule; making sure your bedroom is dark quiet; avoiding caffeine later in day; unplugging from electronics screens at least 30 minutes before aimless tossing turning time; implementing a calming nighttime ritual (reading books in baths). All of these things will help zzz’s happen—and happen more deeply—so try some or all of them get to get your sleep back on track.

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Approaching arguments positively

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No one wants to argue with their partner. Arguments can be draining, emotionally charged, and leave you feeling like you’re on uneven ground. But arguing is a necessary part of any relationship. It’s an opportunity to communicate and understand each other better. So how can you approach arguments with your partner in a way that is positive and productive? Read on for some tips.

  • Avoid reacting in the moment. When we’re in the middle of an argument, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean or that we’ll later regret. If you need a moment to calm down before continuing the discussion, take a break. Go for a walk, take a shower, or sleep on it. You’ll be able to approach the situation with a clear head when you’re ready.

  • Listen to what your partner is saying. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own thoughts during an argument and forget to truly listen to what the other person is saying. But it’s important to try to understand where they’re coming from. So as they’re speaking, really listen and try to see things from their perspective. Only then can you start to find common ground.

  • Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s motives. It’s easy to jump to conclusions about why someone is saying or doing something, but more often than not, those assumptions are wrong. Instead of assuming the worst, ask your partner directly what their intentions are. Chances are they’ll be happy to explain themselves and you’ll be able avoid miscommunication or hurt feelings.

  • Find a compromise that works for both of you. Chances are, there isn’t a single solution that will please both parties perfectly. In that case, it’s important to find a compromise that leaves both people feeling satisfied. This might mean making some sacrifices, but it will be worth it in the end if it means having a healthy, happy relationship.

  • Avoid blaming your partner. It ‘s easy to want to place all the blame on someone else when things go wrong, but doing so will only make the situation worse. Not only will it make your partner feel defensive, but it will also prevent you from taking responsibility for your own actions. Take ownership of your own role in the argument so that you can begin working towards a resolution.

  • Be willing to apologise. A key part of any successful relationship is being able t o admit when you’re wrong. If you’ve done something to hurt your partner, make sure to apologise. This doesn’t mean that you have to take all the blame, but it does mean acknowledging your role in the situation and expressing remorse for any pain you may have caused.

  • Keep communication open outside of arguments as well. Just as communicating during an argument is important, so is communicating when things are going well. By regularly checking in with each other and sharing both positive and negative experiences, you”ll create a foundation of trust and respect that will help carry you through difficult times.

Arguing with your partner is never fun, but it’s an inevitable part of every relationship. By approaching arguments positively, listening carefully, and finding compromise, you can turn them into opportunities for growth instead of potential roadblocks. And by maintaining open communication both during and between arguments, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy, happy relationship

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The importance of avoiding parental burnout

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Being a parent is one of the most rewarding, yet challenging roles an individual can have. Not only are you responsible for taking care of your own needs, but you are also responsible for taking care of the needs of your children. This can be extremely draining, both emotionally and physically. When you reach your limit, it is important to take a step back and focus on taking care of yourself, otherwise you run the risk of burning out.

Signs that you’re burning out

There are several different signs that you may be burning out as a parent. These include:

– Feeling constantly exhausted and run down
– Having difficulty staying focused or motivated
– Withdrawing from friends and activities that you once enjoyed
– Feeling irritable or angry more often than usual
– Experiencing physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches

If you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms on a regular basis, it is important to take a step back and assess your current situation. Are there any areas in your life that you can delegate to someone else in order to lighten your load? What can you do to make sure that you are taking care of yourself both physically and mentally? Taking some time for yourself – even if it is just 30 minutes each day – can make a world of difference when it comes to preventing burnout.

No one ever said that being a parent was easy. In fact, it is probably one of the most challenging roles an individual can have. It is important to remember, however, that it is okay to take a break every now and then. If you find yourself feeling burnt out, take some time for yourself in order to prevent further damage. Your children will still be there when you come back refreshed and rejuvenated.

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Try these self-care tips for new parents

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You’ve probably heard this advice: Take care of yourself if you want to be the best parent for your child. While that advice might sound good in theory, you might wonder how on earth you could care for yourself when your baby is your number one priority right now. Is that even possible? You probably forgot the last time you showered, let alone practiced self-care. Do you even have the time to do it?

Quite often, we can lose the sense of who we are as we go through the experience of pregnancy and the birth of a newborn baby. You might have mixed feelings about no longer being pregnant, your birth experience, your baby and your new role as a parent. For moms, you might also feel differently about how you look and your body’s changes. It can be an immensely overwhelming experience.

Especially for first-time parents, coming home with your new baby is an adjustment. In this case, you may find that you’re anxious about your ability to care for your baby. You may also be concerned about obtaining less income if one of you stays home with your baby, or you’re worried about spending less time on other activities and relationships. These are all valid and normal concerns of a new parent. Taking care of your baby on top of the changes in your emotions and sleep patterns could take a toll on your mental and physical health.

Practising self-care as new parents begin with the belief that self-care is essential and something that you deserve. We’ve been taught that putting our child’s needs in front of our own needs is actually preferred; in fact, it’s what makes us a good parent, some might say. But, taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being isn’t just something nice to add to your neverending to-do lists. It’s actually critical for your overall health.

If all you do is to give, give, and give, you’re likely to experience burnout which can adversely affect your health. If you think burnout is exclusively limited to work-related issues, you’ve got it wrong. It’s proven by research that neglecting your own needs has negative consequences for you and your baby. Without adequate breaks and time to breathe, parents can experience parental burnout.

Parental burnout leads to harmful consequences for children. Among the most shocking effect of parental burnout includes being emotionally distant from your baby, indulging in escape ideation, engaging in some form of parental neglect and experiencing severe emotional exhaustion.

According to a study published in Clinical Psychological Science, the researchers concur that “whatever allows parents to recharge their batteries, avoid exhaustion, is good for children.” So, are you convinced yet that adding some form of self-care into your life should be non-negotiable? Keeping yourself happy and healthy will allow you to give the best care possible for your baby. Remember, your needs matter too.

Self-care is important; you get it. But, what should you do to accomplish it?

The first thing that you have to do is to be kind to yourself. Caring for a new baby is a lot of work, and no new parent has all of the answers– and that’s okay. Remember, you can learn as you go. Take your time to enjoy and get to know your baby. Your smile, voice, facial expressions and gentle touch will help you build the connection needed to develop a healthy attachment with your little one. You fed, cuddled and clothed your baby today, and the house didn’t burn down? You’re doing great.

Good nutrition keeps your energy level up and boosts your overall mood. Your nutrition is vital, especially if you’re breastfeeding and your body needs the extra fuel. So, go easy on the sugar and ensure that you get plenty of iron, protein and omega-3s. You should also try to limit your caffeine intake to the first part of the day. One way to maintain a healthy eating habit is to stock up on healthy snacks and fill your freezer with your favourite good-for-you meals. Eating healthy doesn’t mean bland food. There are tons of healthy recipes that you can find on the internet. Alternatively, you could also take full advantage of the delivery options out there.

Exercise. Yes, although you’ve just become a new parent, getting regular exercise is a form of self-care. As you may know, exercising keeps you healthy, improve your mood, helps you get better sleep and with the added bonus of helping to manage your weight – everything a new parent needs. You have multiple options when it comes to exercising. Firstly, you could find a way to exercise with your baby, like a mommy-and-me yoga class or baby boot camp. Secondly, you could ask your partner to take care of the baby while you exercise. Another option is to check if your local gym offers child care.

Again, there is a common notion among new parents that spending time for yourself when you have a child is an act of selfishness. This is completely untrue. Sadly, some people will continue to spread the message that doing things for yourself is considered self-centred or greedy. But, you’ve got to ignore these people and seek out supportive people who understand the struggles of new parenthood. Even if it’s just for a short time; do something that you enjoy, such as soaking in a hot tub or reading your favourite novel. You’ll feel refreshed and ready to take on your next challenge.

Let others help you. Now isn’t the time for independence. Your partner, family and friends are there for you and care about you. If they want to be helpful, it’s okay to accept their help. It’s also completely okay to ask others for help if you feel overwhelmed. Also, it’s important to be specific about what you need. Do you need them to do the grocery? Hand them your grocery list. If you need them to fold the laundry, tell them. And remember, they might not do things exactly like you would but don’t let the little things stress you out.

Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean devoting hours to yourself everyday or taking an extended vacation. That sort of thing is out of reach for the majority of typical parents, especially with a newborn baby in the picture. But, that doesn’t mean you should disregard your self-care altogether. Even just spending 10 to 15 minutes per day can be life-changing. The key is to do something you find enjoyable and do it consistently.

Your mood changes, anxiousness and worries will not last forever. Over time, you’ll feel more confident in your abilities to take care of your baby and family. Until you do, don’t forget to incorporate self-care into your day-to-day life as a new parent. You’ll eventually feel more like yourself again. Heck, you might be surprised at what you can accomplish if you start to care for your mental and physical health.



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Pareful - Mindful Relationships

Don’t stop talking to each other

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Welcoming a child, particularly your first, is a life changing event. You brace yourself for the sleepless nights, for the nappies, for the seemingly endless feeding and the sheer mind-bending realisation that you, yes you, are now responsible for another human life. Yet how many of us truly factor in the effect it might have on our relationship with our partner. This is something we can overlook, or worse, take for granted. Having a child triangulates your relationship, it’s no longer just the two of you anymore. It’s good to be mindful of this – and each other. 

First of all, congrats. You got through labour, brought your baby safely into the world and those first few days when you bring your baby home are incredibly special. You are a team and a tremendous source of support for each other, a time you’ll look back upon and cherish, as though you existed in your own universe. And then either one of you might have to return to work and slowly reality bites throwing up tensions that may not have been there before.

Perhaps if you’re night feeding you’re sleeping in separate beds and feeling that little more distant from each other. Or you’re finding days alone with a baby quite isolating and craving adult company. These are all normal feelings to have. A baby brings a new dynamic to your relationship, sparking a constant ebb and flow of thoughts about what you feel is equitable and who gets to do what. Do you feel you’re doing more than your partner? If so, why?

The solution to this mental wrangling is terribly simple, but it also requires effort. You must never stop communicating. Talk to each other. Don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations. Maybe your partner returns home from work, exhausted, slumps on the sofa and turns on the TV, meanwhile, you’ve spent all day with a baby and you’re desperate for a conversation – for news of the outside world! Or the baby cries at night and you find you’re always the one who is waking up and getting out of bed. You feel annoyed, resentful even. Don’t suffer in silence. Burying these feelings of resentment will only lead to more tension.

Partners are not mind readers and as best you can, you need to voice how you are feeling – the positive along with the negative. If the other person in your relationship is unaware of how you feel, how can they change their behaviour accordingly? Quite often, partners who are not the primary carer can feel left out, envious almost of the attention a new baby demands. You may find you both have feelings that need to be addressed.

Making more time for each other is easier said than done when you have an infant that consumes ninety percent of your day. But the thoughtfulness of a simple gesture can go a long way. A cup of tea brought to you in bed, a five minute catch up with each other over said tea, or a delicious home prepared meal, the ease of a takeaway, the escapism of a boxset you’re both obsessed with. Find the little things that matter and make space for them in your lives.

And when you’re able, never underestimate the life changing magic of a babysitter and the opportunity to leave the house to dine out with your beau, a deux. Yes, it can be a wrench to leave the baby, and always, it’s easier to stay in, but investing time in each other will only make your relationship stronger. Like anything left untended, if you don’t, it will deteriorate.

Physical intimacy can be difficult after giving birth and suffering the effects of sleep deprivation, patience and understanding may be required here, particularly if it was a difficult birth. Your partner may be feeling low self-esteem. Be compassionate to each of your needs. Any time you feel a hint of resentfulness you must consider why and what you can do to rid yourself of it. Parenting should not be a daily tug of war. There is always a better way of doing things.

You might also find that other relationships are affected; perhaps those with your own parents and friends, where expectations may need to be managed. Again, no-one is a mind reader. Don’t be afraid to talk. Honest communication is how you grow into parenthood and cement strong relationships with all of your loved ones.


Single parents, we see you.

Of course, not all parenting is done in a relationship and if you’re a single parent either by choice or circumstance, a new baby will no lesser effect your relationships with friends, family and exes. Above all, the individuals within these relationships need to recognise that things are different now for you, that your priorities have changed; your child comes first. You may relish this or you may feel the immense pressure that comes with this responsibility, but take heart from the many studies that have shown the incredible bond forged between a single parent and child. A small study comparing single mothers to couples reported ‘closer, warmer relationships between the single mother and child.’

To say that single parenting is intense seems to be the understatement of the century, but it’s important to remember, according to a prominent developmental psychologist, that ‘attachment is not a zero-sum game. If you’re securely attached to one adult, it doesn’t leave less security for you to invest in another,’ which is important for both you and your child to take forward into new relationships you might make.

As one mother wrote in a New York Times article, penned to celebrate the incredible relationship she enjoyed as a single parent with her son and musing whether single parents have stronger bonds with their children, ‘Solo caregivers have it so tough, it seems only fair they at least get this small mercy.’



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Surviving sleep deprivation

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Diet

Many of the symptoms of sleep deprivation manifest themselves in impaired cognitive function. In her book Brain Food, Dr Lisa Mosconi explores the neuroscience behind the foods that improve mental fitness. Meaning, there is such a thing as brain food, what Mosconi terms ‘neuro nutrition’.

‘What most people don’t realise that the nutritional requirements of the brain are substantially different from those of the other organs of the body.”

Dr Lisa Mosconi

The sugar-laden, carbohydrate heavy foods we crave when we’re tired (and that deliver instant gratification with the first bite) aren’t really doing you any favours in the long term when it comes to combating fatigue. Try to avoid and plump for healthier alternatives instead.

Water is crucial, two litres a day and tap water is absolutely fine, as is bottled mineral water. Purified water ain’t so great as it’s been filtered of all its precious minerals and nutrients. Water-rich fruit and veg is also good; such as cucumbers, courgettes, strawberries, grapefruit and watermelons.

A balance of Omega 3s and 6s is essential to get your neurons communicating properly and can be found not just in fish oils but plant oils (i.e., grapeseed oil). Mosconi also recommends certain nuts and seeds (chia, flaxseed); food high in choline (B vitamins), glucose (spring onions, turnips, apricots, grapes) and phenylalanine (spinach, high-protein animal products).  Her book contains some brilliant brain-boosting recipes and we’re a particular fan of her cacao smoothie, which tastes like pudding in a glass – and is still good for you! Wins! Proof that you don’t have to forgo sweet treats.

Exercise

We know. It’s hard to exercise when you’ve a baby – or two – in tow. But it’s crucial. Exercise literally changes your state of mind, be it a stroll with the pram, an at home HIIT workout or a 10-minute yoga flow with the baby on the mat beside you. There are exercise classes up and down the country that cater to new parents where you can actually leave the house and exercise in a group setting with your babies and toddlers. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with, but the point here is really to do it. Shoehorn it into your day. Perhaps this might mean asking a partner or a friend to take over whilst you exercise, and that’s ok.

Yes, when you’re exhausted the last thing you feel like doing is exhausting yourself even more, but it really works. It’s a great stress reliever and ushers in a feeling of real positivity and achievement. So do try to set aside a little time every day to exercise. You won’t regret it.

Sloooww down & step off

Sometimes having a baby can feel like operating in the normal world with your hands tied behind your back. Things take longer, you can’t just­–

All the stuff you used to be able to do at your peak productivity, well, try not to lament it. That was then, this is now. A different gravy. The laundry will wait. And the world will still turn.

Do less.

Don’t expect so much of yourself.

Give yourself a break.

You’re raising a child, not trying to be a superhero.

Screen time

Your circadian rhythms are already shot with the arrival of a new baby, and screen time at night will only exacerbate the situation. If you need something to while away the witching hours then try swapping your scrolling for audio books – or the shipping forecast, and you’ll probably find it much easier to fall back asleep if/when your baby does.

Have a giggle

Don’t be afraid to be silly. Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. Embrace the ridiculous situations that often present themselves to you as a new parent; projectile poo/wee whilst changing a nappy; thinking you could get a quick quiet coffee only for your baby to howl down the café, the list is long…Try to laugh about them. Or, if you find that difficult, get your laughs in watching a TV programme you love or a clip of your favourite comedian on social media. Whatever it is, laughter can break through the tension. It always feels good to giggle. Find comfort in the little things. 

Cuddle your partner as well as your baby

Having an addition to the family can be isolating for a partner, especially if you’re night feeding in another bedroom. Physical contact is so important. Get close, enjoy a hug. If you’re a single parent, don’t underestimate the strength of an embrace from a friend. Sometimes, it really is the little things that make all the difference.

Sleep, whenever, wherever.

As discussed in our first blog post, there are no-points for martyrdom in the sleep stakes. Get it whilst you can. Forget household chores and put your head down, even if it’s just for 10 minutes for a quick refresh. Clinical studies have shown that a nap of less than half an hour in the day promotes wakefulness, enhances performance and learning ability.

Writer and memoirist Amy Liptrot regularly extolls the restorative effect of a stolen ‘wild sleep’ with her young children. Or, join the army of parents who sleep in cinema matinee performances. Whatever it takes, you’ll be much more capable of completing your to-do lists if you’ve had more sleep. Forget the pressures of being productive and remind yourself how much you’re taking care of yourself getting in all the sleep you can.



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sleep deprivation

No, you’re not losing your mind. You’re sleep deprived.

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Babies don’t sleep. They just don’t. Not like we do.

They don’t operate on a 24-hour cycle, nor do they have any regard for night or day. They can be up to six months old before they begin to show any sense of functional consistency and may be years old before they stop night waking. All this to say, there are legions of sleep deprived parents out there in the world, going about their days in a time-warped slow motion, feeling anything other than themselves.

As a sleep-deprived parent you may find yourself the butt of many jokes or on the end of pitying looks as family and friends – sometimes even strangers –recall ‘the slog’ of their own early parenting days before dishing out supremely unhelpful comments like ‘What else did you expect?’ We’ve all been there. The chances are you’re there right now.

If only it were a laughing matter. But the effects of sleep deprivation are real. You may find it hard to concentrate, suffer memory lapses, mood swings, anxiety, elevated stress, slurred speech, lose your libido, put on weight and even find you have a low immunity making you less able to fend off bugs. At its extreme, studies have shown sleep deprivation can lead to brain damage. That sleep deprivation has been used as a means of torture for centuries says it all really. 

For those of us who have always enjoyed – or survived on – a good night’s sleep, the lack of sleep that comes with being a parent can be a shock. No, debilitating. Of course, some days are better than others and it’s incredible how quickly you can return to baseline with a good night’s sleep, that feeling of being a new person again hard to top.  

Not so long ago, the idea of being able to survive on little sleep may have held some kudos; ‘successful’ people championing themselves on needing as little as two to three hours a night. How we marvelled that Margaret Thatcher could run a country on four hours sleep is, frankly, ridiculous knowing what we know now; that persistent lack of sleep is directly linked to an increased risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s. Yep, that ship has sailed. Boasting about how little sleep you need is really only a race to the bottom. Sleep is not, ‘just for wimps’.

As a new parent you may covet the enviable extensive sleeping hours of today’s teenagers and your younger self, but instead, ask how is it they can sleep for so long? It is not because they are ‘lazy’. It’s because their brains and bodies are developing at such rapid speed it necessitates the factory reset that sleep brings. Wanting more sleep does not make you lazy. Instead, it shows a healthy regard for your own physical and mental well-being.

According to the US National Institute of Health, ‘When one sleeps the brain reorganizes and recharges itself, and removes toxic waste by-products which have accumulated throughout the day…a minimum of seven hours of daily sleep seems to be necessary for proper cognitive function.’ Seven hours. A luxury if you’re a new parent. And toxic waste? No wonder you’re feeling so rubbish.

In their paper The Neuroprotective Aspects of Sleep, Andy R Eugene and Jolanta Masiak write “Essentially, sleeping acts as a garbage collector that comes during the night and removes the waste product left by the brain. This allows the brain to function normally the next day when one wakes up from slumber.” Clinically, this is known as the brain’s glymphatic system. We can now appreciate how not getting enough sleep physically alters the chemical balance in your brain, hence the title of this post; You’re not losing your mind, you’re just sleep deprived.

What’s worse, in a punishing twist, the states produced by sleep deprivation can actually make it harder to sleep. Anxiety and depression brought on by poor sleep patterns can often cause insomnia so that you may find when your baby is finally sleeping, frustratingly, you cannot.

So, what is going on in your brain when you are sleeping? Well, sleep turns off the norepinephrine (a stress hormone), serotonin (modulates mood) and histamine (immunity) neurotransmitters, allowing their receptors to rest. Now we can see directly the consequences of not getting enough sleep; the elevated stress levels, a struggle to make a proportionate response to an emotional event, of feeling constantly under the weather – every day a battle. Now we can understand what is happening to us.

And in today’s world of peak perfection and productivity, of having heightened expectations, increased stimulations, technology on tap, of always being ‘on’, of problems being solved in a ‘hack’ we can consume on TikTok then we may be feeling the effects of sleep deprivation more than our predecessors – and its negative effect on our psyche.

But it’s not all bad. It won’t last forever (trust, us, it really won’t). You will get through it. Your children will grow and sleep. Until they do, there are things you can do to address the slump you feel, to try and rebalance your brain and body and feel more like yourself.

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